As Rosh Hashanah approaches, the Jewish New Year, I’ve been reflecting on the habits I need to change. We all have areas in our lives where we can improve, and for me, this realization came in a powerful way through a moment with my five-year-old son. A few days ago, while I was scrolling through my phone, he looked at me with his big eyes and asked, “Daddy, can you put down your phone and play with me?”
That moment hit me hard, and it was a wake-up call. I realized that time with him isn’t just something nice to have—it’s essential. Just like food and water, these moments are what nourish our relationships and build our future. And this made me think: how many of us, whether as parents, spouses, or friends, are guilty of letting distractions like our phones, work, or even worries get in the way of being present?
As a Jewish Wedding Cantor who was mentored by a Jewish wedding Rabbi and Jewish Wedding Officiant, I’ve had the honor of officiating countless weddings in Toronto. The love and joy on couples’ faces as they celebrate their commitment to each other is always inspiring. But what happens after the wedding, when life gets busy, and the phones start buzzing? That’s when the real work begins—staying connected, being present, and prioritizing the moments that matter.
Building Strong Foundations in Marriage: Lessons from Sharon and Adam
Let me tell you about a couple I recently helped, Sharon and Adam. They came to me for their Jewish Wedding Ceremony in Toronto, full of love and excitement for the future. As their Jewish Wedding Cantor, I worked with them to create a beautiful and meaningful ceremony that reflected their love story. But during our time together, Sharon shared something that struck me: both she and Adam were struggling with being fully present in their relationship. Between work, social media, and other distractions, they found themselves spending more time on their phones than with each other.
During our discussions, I shared with them the lesson I learned from my son. I reminded them that just like time with our children, time with our spouse is essential. It’s not something that can be pushed to the side for later. The small, everyday moments we spend with our partners are what build the foundation of a strong and lasting marriage.
Sharon and Adam made a commitment to each other that day to put down their phones during dinner and spend more time truly connecting. It’s not about grand gestures but about the small, intentional acts of being present for each other. That’s how we build strong marriages, just like how I’m working on being more present with my son.
The Importance of Being Present
In today’s fast-paced world, being present is a challenge for all of us. We’re constantly bombarded with notifications, emails, and the pressure to be productive. But as I’ve learned, our presence—our undivided attention—is the greatest gift we can give to our loved ones. Whether it’s a spouse, a child, or a close friend, the moments we spend fully engaged with the people we care about are priceless.
In marriage, especially, being present is crucial. Just like in the ceremony when couples stand under the Jewish Wedding Chuppah, looking into each other’s eyes and committing to a lifetime of love and partnership, that level of presence needs to carry into everyday life. When distractions pull us away, we miss out on the beauty of the present moment, and those are the moments that build a life together.
Building New Habits: The Key to Success in Relationships
This Rosh Hashanah, as we reflect on the year ahead, I’m not just focusing on breaking bad habits—I’m focusing on building good ones. And I encourage couples, parents, and everyone reading this to do the same. Whether it’s being present, exercising, or spending quality time with loved ones, let’s make those moments non-negotiable.
It’s easy to think we don’t have time, but the truth is, we always have time for what we prioritize. For me, setting aside 30 minutes to exercise each day has become a non-negotiable habit. It wasn’t easy at first—finding the time between work, family, and other commitments felt impossible. But once I made it a priority, I found that not only did I feel better physically, but I also had more energy and focus to give to my family.
The same principle applies to relationships. Sharon and Adam learned this as they built the habit of disconnecting from their phones during their time together. And just like my commitment to exercise, it wasn’t always easy at first, but the rewards have been worth it. They’ve told me how their connection has deepened, and how much more joy they find in their relationship when they’re truly present for each other.
Creating a Stronger Connection: The Rosh Hashanah Reflection
As we enter this New Year, it’s a time for reflection and renewal. It’s a time to think about the habits we want to change and the relationships we want to strengthen. For Sharon and Adam, their Jewish Wedding Ceremony was the beginning of a lifelong journey together, but it’s the daily habits they build that will sustain their love. For me, that simple request from my son to put down my phone was a reminder that the most important moments in life are the ones spent with the people we love.
Whether it’s in marriage, parenting, or any other relationship, the lesson is clear: Our time and attention are the most valuable gifts we can give. Let’s make the commitment this Rosh Hashanah to be more present, to build habits that strengthen our connections, and to prioritize the moments that truly matter.
Final Thoughts
As a Jewish Wedding Cantor who learned so much from an incredible Jewish wedding Rabbi, I’ve seen firsthand the power of connection in relationships. From the moment couples stand under the Jewish Wedding Chuppah to the many years that follow, it’s the small, consistent actions that build strong marriages.
So as you head into this New Year, ask yourself: How can you be more present in your relationships? What habits can you build to strengthen your connections with the people who matter most? And if you’re planning a wedding or looking to start a family with a Baby Naming Ceremony, remember that the most important gift you can give is your time and attention.
Comments