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Ben Silverberg

The Journey, Not Just the Day: Lessons from Adam and Michelle’s Jewish Wedding in Toronto

When Adam and Michelle began planning their Jewish wedding Toronto, they were like many couples—eager to create a memorable day but unsure how to balance the grandeur of the celebration with its deeper meaning. They knew they wanted more than a beautiful Jewish wedding ceremony; they wanted to build a foundation for a life together steeped in tradition, connection, and shared values.


Their journey reminds me of a lesson I often teach my students at CoolCantor: it’s not just about the end goal. Whether preparing for a Bar Mitzvah, Bat Mitzvah, or a life milestone like a wedding, the true magic lies in the process.



The Right Approach: Focus Over Frantic Effort


Adam and Michelle were deeply committed to honoring Jewish wedding traditions while also incorporating modern elements to make the celebration uniquely theirs. At first, their planning was overwhelming. They tried to do everything at once—choosing the Jewish wedding venue, deciding on Jewish wedding music, and finalizing details like the Jewish wedding Ketubah and Chuppah decorations—all at the same time.


Their stress was palpable when they reached out to me for guidance. I shared with them a story about one of my students. He wanted to ace his exams and thought the solution was marathon study sessions. But his efforts left him drained and frustrated because he wasn’t studying efficiently. I encouraged him to break his sessions into short, focused bursts with clear goals, and his progress skyrocketed.


I suggested Adam and Michelle approach their wedding planning the same way. By breaking down their tasks—focusing on one aspect of their Jewish wedding services at a time—they could reduce stress and stay aligned with their vision. Slowly but surely, their plans came together seamlessly.


The Heart of Jewish Wedding Traditions


Adam and Michelle’s journey wasn’t just about the logistics. It was about creating a ceremony that honored Jewish wedding customs while reflecting their love story. As their Jewish wedding officiant, I encouraged them to focus on the meaning behind each tradition:


• The Breaking of the Glass: They chose to honor this iconic moment with words that acknowledged both the fragility and strength of love.

• The Jewish Wedding Hora: Their hora was a joyous celebration of community, a reminder that love is always lifted by the people around us.

• The Chuppah: As they stood beneath the Chuppah, Adam and Michelle were surrounded by symbols of protection, faith, and their shared commitment to build a loving home.


Each of these traditions became more than a ritual—they became moments of reflection and connection, not just for Adam and Michelle but for everyone in attendance.


Building a Foundation for Marriage


The key to Adam and Michelle’s success wasn’t in achieving perfection but in embracing the journey. Like the student who mastered his exams by focusing on meaningful, intentional effort, Adam and Michelle learned that their Jewish wedding ceremony was not just about one day. It was about building a foundation for their marriage.


Through thoughtful Jewish wedding planning, they not only created a day of celebration but also strengthened their bond. From writing their Jewish wedding vows to selecting the perfect Jewish wedding photographer to capture their memories, every choice became a building block in their shared story.


Resilience in Marriage and Life


Jewish wedding traditions teach us about resilience, love, and partnership. As Adam and Michelle navigated the challenges of wedding planning, they embodied these values.

One particularly touching moment came during the planning of their Jewish wedding Ketubah. They spent hours crafting its text, ensuring it reflected not only their promises to each other but also their shared hopes for the future. The process required patience and communication, qualities they will carry forward in their marriage.


As someone who was mentored by a great Jewish wedding Rabbi, I strive to bring these lessons of resilience and connection into every wedding I officiate. Watching Adam and Michelle thrive through the process was a testament to the power of these traditions.


Lessons from CoolCantor Applied to Life


Adam and Michelle’s journey mirrors a core principle I teach at CoolCantor Hebrew School: life is not just about the destination. Whether a child is preparing for their Bar Mitzvah, Bat Mitzvah, or navigating challenges in school, it’s the process that shapes them.


At CoolCantor, we guide students through their Bar Mitzvah training and Bat Mitzvah lessons with this mindset. From learning Hebrew language classes online to understanding the weekly Torah portion, we emphasize that it’s not about rushing to the finish line. It’s about finding meaning, building confidence, and embracing the journey.


How This Lesson Can Transform Your Life


Adam and Michelle’s experience is a powerful reminder: whether planning a wedding or tackling life’s challenges, focusing on the journey creates meaningful connections. Here’s how you can apply this lesson to your own life:


1. Break It DownJust like Adam and Michelle simplified their wedding planning, break your goals into smaller, manageable steps.

2. Honor the ProcessWhether it’s planning a Jewish wedding ceremony or preparing for a milestone, embrace the meaning behind each step.

3. Seek SupportSurround yourself with people who uplift and guide you. Adam and Michelle leaned on family, friends, and trusted professionals to make their vision a reality.

4. Focus on ConnectionThe most meaningful moments in life are those we share with others.


Whether writing Jewish wedding invitations or preparing for a baby naming ceremony, prioritize connection over perfection.


Final Thoughts: Embrace the Journey


Adam and Michelle’s Jewish wedding in Toronto was more than a celebration—it was a testament to their love, resilience, and commitment to building a meaningful life together.


If you’re planning your own Jewish wedding—or any milestone in life—remember: it’s not just about the destination. Whether it’s choosing Jewish wedding decorations, learning from Jewish wedding customs, or preparing for the breaking of the glass, every step has the potential to bring you closer to your goals and the people you love.


Let’s make the journey just as beautiful as the destination.


Thanks for reading,

Cantor Ben


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