We’ve all been there—feeling like we might miss out on something important or exciting. It’s that nagging sensation that if we don’t act immediately, we’ll fall behind, lose an opportunity, or simply not keep up with the Joneses. This is the essence of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), and it can push us to make impulsive decisions, often without considering the consequences.
In a world where social media constantly showcases “perfect” lives, luxurious lifestyles, and the next big opportunity, it’s easy to get caught up in the idea that we need to have it all, right now. But here’s the truth: those illusions can lead to regret, wasted time, and a loss of focus on what truly matters—your own journey.
The Reality Behind Social Media Fantasies
One of my students, Ben, came to me devastated. He had seen a teen on Instagram flaunting a Lamborghini, claiming he had bought it with crypto money. Eager to achieve the same quick success, Ben put all of his savings into cryptocurrency, hoping for a windfall. But in the end, the Instagram teen was nothing more than a scammer. Ben lost everything he had saved.
This is a common pitfall. Social media can make us feel inadequate by highlighting only the best moments of people’s lives. But often, these moments are exaggerated or even fabricated. Ben’s story is a powerful reminder that we shouldn’t measure our self-worth or success by comparing ourselves to others, especially based on what we see online.
I’ve even fallen into the FOMO trap myself. Once, I stumbled across a YouTube ad promoting a stock trading course that promised foolproof returns. In a vulnerable moment, between jobs and searching for a way to provide for my family, I bought the course. Despite the grand claims, every stock I bought following the course’s advice lost money. The lesson? If something sounds too good to be true, it usually is.
How to Avoid the FOMO Trap
The answer to overcoming FOMO lies in self-awareness and patience. Before you make a decision based on the fear of missing out, ask yourself:
1. Is this decision aligned with my values and long-term goals?
2. Do I have enough information, or am I acting impulsively?
3. What’s the worst that could happen if I miss out on this opportunity?
By taking a moment to reflect, you can avoid making hasty choices that don’t serve your best interests. Remember, real success is built over time, through consistency, hard work, and staying true to your own path.
Applying the Lesson to Marriage: Sarah and Jordan’s Story
Sarah and Jordan, a Jewish couple from Toronto, approached me to officiate their wedding ceremony. As with many couples, they faced pressure from social media and their peers to have the “perfect” wedding—extravagant décor, lavish venues, and over-the-top celebrations. They found themselves comparing their plans to others and feeling as though they were falling short.
During our conversations, I reminded them that their wedding wasn’t about keeping up with others; it was about celebrating their love and commitment. Just like in life, the key to a successful marriage is focusing on your own values, your shared journey, and what truly matters to you as a couple—not what others are doing.
The pressure to meet unrealistic standards can make couples lose sight of what makes their relationship special. Sarah and Jordan’s wedding, grounded in their personal values and traditions, turned out to be a beautiful and meaningful event, focused on what mattered most to them: family, love, and their shared Jewish faith. They chose a Jewish Wedding Officiant who understood their values and created a ceremony that reflected their relationship, not social media’s idea of a perfect wedding.
This mindset is crucial not just for wedding planning but for the entire marriage journey. The illusion of perfection that we often see online can put unnecessary strain on relationships, as couples feel the need to measure up. But as Sarah and Jordan learned, when you stop comparing yourself to others and focus on your own unique path, your experience becomes much more fulfilling.
Building Resilience and Focusing on What Matters
Whether it’s in marriage or life, FOMO is a powerful force that can push us to make decisions that don’t align with our true selves. But it doesn’t have to be this way. By cultivating patience, self-awareness, and a strong sense of your own values, you can build resilience and avoid the trap of comparison.
Here’s what I shared with Sarah and Jordan, and what I share with all couples I work with: Your journey is your own. Whether you’re planning a Jewish wedding or navigating the ups and downs of life, focus on your unique strengths, values, and experiences. Success isn’t about mimicking someone else’s path—it’s about creating your own.
As a Jewish Wedding Officiant and life coach, I help couples embrace their individual journeys, focusing on what truly matters. Whether you’re preparing for a Jewish Wedding Ceremony or simply striving for a better life, remember: the only person you need to impress is yourself.
Final Thoughts
FOMO can make you feel like you’re constantly missing out on something bigger and better, but the truth is, you don’t need to chase what others are doing. The real magic happens when you focus on your own journey, your own values, and your own success.
If you want to stop comparing your life to others and build resilience, take a moment to pause and reflect. Focus on what truly matters, and remember that success is built over time, not through quick wins or comparisons.
Whether you’re planning a wedding or navigating life’s challenges, make decisions based on your values—not on what social media tells you is important. And if you’re ready to take control of your journey, let me help you make your wedding day—and your life—meaningful and authentic. I was lucky enough to be mentored by a tremendous Jewish wedding Rabbi looking forward to helping you.
Cantor Ben
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