Hook: The Oxygen Mask Rule Applies to Marriage
You’ve heard it before—on every flight, in every safety briefing:
“Put your oxygen mask on first before helping others.”
Why?
Because if you can’t breathe, you can’t help anyone else.
This isn’t just a lesson for air travel. It’s a lesson for life—and for marriage.
I’ve officiated many Jewish Wedding Ceremonies in Toronto, and one thing I’ve learned is that strong marriages aren’t built on one person constantly sacrificing for the other.
They’re built on balance. On mutual care. On showing up as your best self so you can truly give to your partner.
Story: Jo and Dave’s Wedding Journey
Jo and Dave were an amazing couple I had the privilege of working with as their Jewish Wedding Officiant.
They were deeply in love, but during their Jewish Wedding Planning, I noticed something important.
Jo was taking on everything—managing the Jewish Wedding Venue, coordinating the Jewish Wedding Photographer, handling the Jewish Wedding Invitations—and doing it all while working full-time.
Dave was supportive, but Jo rarely asked for help.
One day, during one of our meetings, I asked Jo a simple question:
“How are YOU feeling?”
She laughed and said, “Exhausted.”
And that’s when I reminded her:
“A strong marriage isn’t about one person doing everything. It’s about BOTH of you showing up whole, healthy, and present.”
That moment changed everything.
Jo and Dave had an open conversation about dividing responsibilities, supporting each other, and making sure neither of them was running on empty before their Jewish Wedding Ceremony.
And on their big day? They weren’t just celebrating their love. They were stepping into a marriage built on balance, partnership, and mutual care.
Break It Down: The Truth About Giving in Relationships
A lot of people think being a good spouse means putting your partner first at all costs.
But here’s the truth:
✅ You can’t pour from an empty cup.
✅ Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.
✅ A marriage thrives when BOTH partners are emotionally and physically well.
This is why Traditional Jewish Weddings incorporate blessings, rituals, and moments of reflection—because a wedding isn’t just about one perfect day.
It’s about preparing for a lifetime of love and partnership.
Shift Perspective: Self-Care Strengthens Marriage
Many couples preparing for their Jewish Wedding Celebrations get caught up in pleasing everyone else—family, friends, guests.
But here’s what I tell them:
“The best gift you can give your marriage is a healthy, happy version of yourself.”
💡 If planning your Jewish Wedding Reception is making you feel overwhelmed—ask for help.
💡 If you’re feeling exhausted leading up to your Jewish Wedding Dance and Hora, take a break.
💡 If you’re trying to handle everything alone, lean on your partner. That’s what marriage is about.
Jewish Wisdom: The Strength of Two
In Jewish Wedding Traditions, the Jewish Wedding Chuppah represents the home a couple will build together.
But a home isn’t just one person holding everything up.
It’s two people supporting each other, sharing the load, and growing together.
This lesson doesn’t just apply to marriage—it applies to all aspects of life.
At weddings, I often remind couples:
✅ A strong home is built on two strong people.
✅ A loving marriage thrives when both partners take care of themselves.
✅ You don’t have to do it all alone—lean on each other.
Call to Action: Preparing for a Stronger Marriage
Whether you’re planning your Jewish Wedding in Toronto, preparing for a Jewish Baby Naming Ceremony, or simply navigating life with your partner—take care of yourself first.
💬 Let’s Talk:
• What’s one way you and your partner make sure you’re BOTH showing up at your best?
• How do you support each other during stressful times?
Remember, marriage isn’t about losing yourself—it’s about growing together.
I was mentored by a great Jewish wedding Rabbi, and one of the most important lessons I learned is this:
A wedding is just the beginning. The real magic happens when two people build a life that supports and uplifts them both.
Let’s build that kind of love together. I’d love to help you on your journey. 🚀
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