There’s a story that has always stayed with me—a boy walks into an ice cream parlor and sits down. The waitress asks what he’d like. He inquires about the price of a plain scoop of ice cream and listens intently to her reply. Then he asks, “How much for ice cream with fudge and toppings?” She answers impatiently, thinking this boy isn’t worth her time.
After some thought, he settles on plain ice cream, pays, and quietly eats his treat. The waitress, annoyed by his frugality, assumes there won’t be a tip. But when she clears his table, she stops in her tracks. There’s a $5 tip—equal to the price of his ice cream. The boy had given up the extras he wanted so he could express gratitude to the waitress.
This story beautifully mirrors the kind of selflessness and thoughtfulness I witnessed at the Jewish wedding of Craig and Cindy, a couple I recently had the honor of officiating in Toronto. Their love, like the boy’s gesture, exemplifies the essence of putting others before oneself.
Jewish Wedding Traditions That Teach Selflessness
During Craig and Cindy’s Jewish wedding ceremony, they incorporated traditional Jewish rituals that celebrate selflessness and unity. From the signing of the Ketubah to the circling under the Chuppah, every element symbolized their commitment to lifting each other up and creating a life rooted in kindness and mutual respect.
The Ketubah, or marriage contract, is a cornerstone of traditional Jewish weddings. It’s not just a legal document; it’s a promise of care, respect, and shared responsibility. Craig and Cindy’s vows reflected this, as they pledged to prioritize each other’s happiness and well-being. Watching them exchange their Jewish wedding vows under the Chuppah, I was reminded of the boy in the ice cream parlor—choosing to make sacrifices for the benefit of someone else.
Kindness in Action: Lessons from Craig and Cindy
Craig and Cindy’s story began with a small but significant act of kindness. Cindy shared during the Jewish wedding celebrations how, on their second date, Craig noticed a homeless man sitting near their table at an outdoor café. Without hesitation, Craig bought the man a meal and sat with him for a few minutes to chat.
This simple act revealed Craig’s character to Cindy—someone who saw the humanity in everyone and was willing to make time for others, even when it was inconvenient. It was a pivotal moment for Cindy, who realized she wanted to build a life with someone who embodied this level of compassion.
The Ripple Effect of Selflessness in Marriage
Marriage, much like life, is full of opportunities to show kindness. Sometimes it’s the grand gestures, like planning the perfect Jewish wedding reception. But more often, it’s the small, everyday moments that define a relationship—like giving up your preferences to make your partner happy or listening when they need support, even if it’s late at night.
Craig and Cindy’s relationship is a testament to this philosophy. During their Jewish wedding ceremony, they both spoke about how they strive to be each other’s biggest supporters. Cindy shared a story of how Craig encouraged her to pursue a career change, even when it meant making sacrifices for a while. Craig, in turn, talked about how Cindy’s unwavering belief in him helped him through a tough time at work.
Applying These Lessons to Daily Life
What can we learn from Craig, Cindy, and even the boy in the ice cream parlor?1. Small Acts Have Big Impact: Whether it’s leaving a generous tip or helping a partner achieve their dreams, the little things often carry the most weight.2. Focus on Giving, Not Receiving: When we lead with selflessness, it strengthens our connections and fosters deeper relationships.3. Celebrate Others: Jewish wedding customs, such as the Hora dance and lifting the couple in chairs, emphasize community and celebration. These traditions remind us to take joy in lifting others up—literally and figuratively.
How CoolCantor Teaches the Value of Kindness
At CoolCantor Hebrew School, we don’t just teach kids to memorize Torah portions or perfect their Bar Mitzvah speeches. We instill values that will guide them for life, including the importance of selflessness, kindness, and gratitude.
One of my students, Craig, now a grown man and a groom at his recent wedding, embodies these values beautifully. Through his journey at CoolCantor, he learned the importance of putting others first—something he continues to practice in his marriage.
Whether it’s during Hebrew language classes online or Bar Mitzvah training, I emphasize the importance of building a life rooted in kindness and connection.
Jewish Wedding Services That Reflect These Values
As a Jewish wedding officiant, I’ve seen firsthand how Jewish wedding traditions provide a framework for a life of love and selflessness. The breaking of the glass at the end of the ceremony, for example, serves as a reminder of the fragility of life and the importance of cherishing each moment and each other.
Craig and Cindy’s wedding was held at a beautiful Jewish wedding venue in Toronto, surrounded by friends and family. The room was filled with laughter, music, and dancing, but what stood out most was the love and gratitude they expressed—not just for each other, but for everyone who had supported them on their journey.
Final Thoughts: Building a Life of Love and Gratitude
The boy in the ice cream parlor didn’t just leave a tip—he left a lesson. Like him, Craig and Cindy show us that life is richer when we focus on lifting others up. Whether it’s through a kind word, a selfless act, or a promise made under the Chuppah, these moments define who we are and the relationships we build.
As I reflect on their beautiful Jewish wedding ceremony, I’m reminded of the values I aim to teach—both in my role as a Jewish wedding cantor and at CoolCantor Hebrew School.
Let’s strive to be like the boy with the ice cream, like Craig and Cindy—choosing kindness, selflessness, and love in every moment. If you’re planning your wedding or looking for ways to incorporate meaningful traditions, let’s connect. Together, we can create something truly unforgettable.
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