In today’s world, it’s hard not to feel the pressure of fitting into a perfect mold. Social media is filled with images of “ideal” bodies, filtered and edited to make it seem like perfection is the norm. It’s not just teens who feel it. Adults get caught up in this too, comparing ourselves to polished images we see online. But what if I told you that chasing someone else’s version of perfection is a losing game? True confidence and success come from embracing who you are and recognizing your unique value.
One of my students, Megan, had this very struggle. She was naturally big-boned and full of potential but became obsessed with shrinking herself to fit into a size zero. She spent hours scrolling through Instagram, comparing herself to influencers who seemed to have the “perfect” bodies. It broke my heart to see her doubt her worth because she didn’t look like them.
She came to me one day, saying, “I just want to be like them.” It wasn’t about the clothes or makeup—it was about not feeling enough.
I sat down with her and said, “Megan, those images you’re seeing on Instagram? They’re not real. They’ve been edited, filtered, and designed to sell you an impossible standard that no one can achieve. But you? You’re real, and your worth has nothing to do with fitting into someone else’s idea of beauty. Your worth is about your strength, kindness, and the incredible person you are.”
It wasn’t easy for Megan to shift her perspective, but slowly she began to see herself differently. She stopped obsessing over trying to look like someone else and started focusing on being the healthiest and happiest version of herself. As Megan embraced who she truly was, she became more confident and free. She started thriving, not because she fit some unrealistic image of perfection, but because she found the beauty in being her authentic self.
The Lesson of Megan and Bradley: Embrace Your True Journey
This idea of embracing your true self doesn’t just apply to body image struggles. It extends into every part of our lives. I remember when I officiated the Jewish wedding of Megan and Bradley in Toronto. Megan had felt some pressure leading up to their big day. With so many Jewish wedding traditions and expectations to consider, she had spent countless hours online, looking at photos of “perfect” weddings, feeling unsure if her special day could measure up.
Megan wanted everything to be perfect, from the Jewish wedding music to the Jewish wedding decorations, but she worried it wouldn’t look as picture-perfect as the Instagram weddings she had seen. Bradley reassured her that their day wasn’t about meeting any external expectations—it was about celebrating their love and the beautiful Jewish wedding ceremony they had planned together, under the Jewish wedding chuppah. Their love story didn’t need any extra filters.
Their wedding day was magical. It was filled with the rich Jewish wedding customs, the joy of the Jewish wedding hora, and the authenticity of who they were as a couple. Megan let go of the pressure to fit a perfect mold, and instead, focused on what really mattered—their union and the Jewish wedding vows they exchanged in front of their friends and family.
Embracing Your Authentic Self
The truth is, social media is just a highlight reel. What you see online doesn’t show the struggles, imperfections, and challenges that everyone goes through. It’s easy to get caught up in comparing yourself to someone else’s curated life, but your worth isn’t defined by another person’s filter.
Megan and Bradley learned to embrace their own journey, just as my student did when she stopped chasing an impossible standard. They discovered that real happiness doesn’t come from trying to meet someone else’s expectations, but from being true to themselves.
It’s kind of like polishing a diamond. A diamond doesn’t gain its worth by trying to look like another gem. Its value comes from being polished into its truest, most brilliant form. Each of us is like that diamond—uniquely valuable as we are, without needing to change into something we’re not.
Reflect on Your Own Journey
Think about a time in your life when you compared yourself to someone else—whether in real life or online. How did that comparison make you feel? Did it motivate you, or did it leave you feeling discouraged? What could you have done to focus on your own strengths, rather than wishing you were like someone else?
At Megan and Bradley’s Jewish wedding in Toronto, they realized that their celebration didn’t have to live up to any external standard. They just had to focus on their love and the authentic bond they shared. This, in turn, made their wedding one of the most meaningful Jewish wedding celebrations I’ve ever been a part of. From the beautiful Jewish wedding ketubah they signed to the heartfelt toasts shared during their Jewish wedding reception, their day was perfect in all the ways that mattered.
Conclusion: Embrace Your True Self
At the end of the day, it’s not about fitting into someone else’s version of perfection. Whether it’s body image, planning your dream Jewish wedding, or simply living your day-to-day life, your worth comes from within. It’s about embracing your true self and letting go of the pressure to measure up to impossible standards.
Take inspiration from Megan and Bradley’s journey and remember this: You are enough just as you are. Whether you’re planning a Jewish wedding or thinking about a baby naming ceremony Jewish, remember that authenticity is what makes each of us truly special.
Let’s stop comparing ourselves to others and start celebrating our uniqueness. If you’re ready to plan a meaningful celebration that reflects your authentic self, reach out to me, Cantor Ben, your Jewish wedding officiant in Toronto. I was fortunate to be mentored by an incredible Jewish wedding Rabbi. Whether it’s a Jewish wedding ceremony or a Jewish newborn ceremony, I’ll help you create a day that is perfect for you.
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