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Ben Silverberg

Don’t Be Selfish—Your Stinginess is Shrinking Your World: A Lesson from a Jewish Wedding

When Brian and Melissa stood under the Jewish Wedding Chuppah at their beautiful Jewish Wedding Ceremony in Toronto, it was clear they were surrounded by love and positivity. As their Jewish Wedding Officiant, I was honored to guide them through the traditions that marked the start of their life together. But what stood out most to me was how genuinely this couple celebrated not only their own joy but also the successes of everyone around them


It’s easy, especially in a world dominated by social media comparisons and societal pressures, to fall into the trap of thinking someone else’s success diminishes your own. But that’s simply not true. In fact, withholding praise or kindness doesn’t just affect the people around you—it affects you. It shrinks your world.


Celebrating Others Expands Your World


As I often tell my students and couples, kindness and praise are like sunlight. When shared, they multiply, creating a ripple effect that uplifts everyone involved. Brian and Melissa embodied this mindset beautifully at their Jewish Wedding Reception.

During their celebration, I noticed how they made time to genuinely thank and recognize each member of their family and friend group. Whether it was their parents for their unwavering support or their friends for being there during tough times, their gratitude was contagious.


This attitude of celebration extends beyond weddings. It’s a life principle. Imagine a friend lands a dream job or a family member accomplishes a lifelong goal. Do you cheer them on, or does envy hold you back? The truth is, celebrating others doesn’t cost you anything, but it does make your world infinitely richer.


A Lesson from Jewish Wedding Traditions


One of the most beautiful aspects of Jewish Wedding Traditions is how they center around community and shared joy. From the breaking of the glass to the lively Jewish Wedding Hora, every moment is designed to unite and uplift everyone in attendance.

In a Traditional Jewish Wedding, the bride and groom aren’t just celebrating their love; they’re acknowledging the roles their loved ones have played in their journey. This sense of gratitude and celebration isn’t finite—it grows the more it’s shared.


Brian and Melissa, for example, chose to include personal touches in their wedding, such as heartfelt toasts to their bridal party and handwritten notes to their parents. These small acts of kindness transformed their Jewish Wedding Toronto into a celebration that radiated positivity and connection.


Don’t Let Stinginess Shrink Your World


We’ve all been there. A friend shares exciting news—a promotion, a new house, a creative achievement—and instead of feeling pure joy for them, there’s a twinge of jealousy or insecurity. It’s human, but it’s also a mindset that can hold you back.


When you hoard your praise or refuse to celebrate others, you’re not just withholding kindness—you’re shrinking your world. You’re limiting the depth and richness of your relationships and missing out on opportunities to strengthen connections.


At Brian and Melissa’s wedding, I witnessed the opposite. They lifted others up at every turn, and in doing so, they created an atmosphere where everyone felt included and valued. Their generosity of spirit was a reminder of how big and bright life can feel when you let go of envy and focus on spreading kindness.


How This Lesson Applies to Life


At CoolCantor, I teach my students the importance of community and connection, whether they’re learning their Torah Portion for their Bar or Bat Mitzvah or building confidence through life coaching. Just like Brian and Melissa’s wedding showcased the power of celebrating others, my lessons emphasize how uplifting others can lead to personal growth.


For example, one of my students, a talented young swimmer, struggled with recognizing the accomplishments of her teammates. She thought their wins highlighted her shortcomings. Through our lessons, she learned that celebrating their successes didn’t take away from her own achievements—it enriched her relationships and her love for the sport.


This mindset of abundance rather than scarcity is what I aim to instill in my students. It’s not about what you lose when someone else wins. It’s about what you gain when you choose to celebrate with them.


Actionable Steps to Embrace Generosity


Here are three practical ways to shift your mindset and start celebrating others:

1. Practice Gratitude

Each day, write down three things you’re grateful for about the people in your life. Focusing on their positive qualities will help you feel more connected and appreciative.

2. Give Compliments Freely

Whether it’s a simple “great job” or a heartfelt note, make it a habit to acknowledge the achievements of others.

3. Reframe Your Thinking

When you feel envy creeping in, remind yourself that their success doesn’t diminish your potential. Instead, use it as inspiration to pursue your own goals.


Looking Ahead: Building a Generous Life


Brian and Melissa’s Jewish Wedding Celebrations weren’t just about their love story. They were about community, gratitude, and generosity. By choosing to lift others up, they set the tone for a life filled with abundance and joy.

Their example serves as a powerful reminder for all of us. Life isn’t a zero-sum game. The more you celebrate others, the more joy and connection you’ll find in your own journey.


Closing Thoughts

As a Jewish Wedding Cantor, I’ve had the privilege of witnessing countless moments of love, kindness, and celebration. Whether it’s officiating a Baby Naming Ceremony Jewish families hold dear or guiding couples through their Jewish Wedding Traditions, I see every day how generosity transforms lives.


Let’s take a page from Brian and Melissa’s story and choose to celebrate the wins of those around us. In doing so, we make our own lives richer, brighter, and more meaningful.


If you’re planning a Jewish Wedding Toronto or looking for guidance on how to create meaningful connections in your life, visit BenSilverberg.com. Together, we can create moments that matter—for you, your loved ones, and your community.


Wishing you a life filled with celebration and kindness,

Cantor Ben.


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